newer than new

Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I am presently reading a book called "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent" which (to paraphrase it's bottom line) states that as eternal, spiritual, energies each of us has manifested herself (or himself, as the case may be) in physical form for one reason and one reason only - to experience JOY. Our"job" as human beings (according to these writings)is to explore the physical realm with the purpose of discovering and living out our unique identity and role in the expansion of all that is.

Apparently, we are not here to fix things or to follow rules or to prove ourselves or collect stuff. We are here to discover our preferences based on all the contrast we see around us and then to expect our desires to manifest themselves as we simply (or not so simply) get out of their way by eliminating negative blocks to said desires.

WOW, I like it! It's a lot different than the words I grew up hearing in the Christian Church,or is it? What about: "Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be open, ask and it shall be given." As a child I wanted those words to be true in a literal sense. I wanted to be able to ask for things like a trip to Disneyland or more money or a different body. But I understood, as did everyone around me, the unwritten limitations implied in those scriptures. They went something like this: Seek and ye shall find,"as long as you're looking in the direction God wants you to look. Knock and the door shall be open "just make sure you are knocking on acceptable doors. Ask and it shall be given,"provided you are asking for the "right" things. As a result of that awareness, I learned to feel guilty about asking for anything for myself because it probably wasn't what God would want or, more importantly, I probably didn't deserve it. I know, waa, waa, waa. But hear me out.

What if those scriptures really "were to be taken literally? What if those words from "God's" mouth (through what ever human conduit and mishmash of interpretations and translations and dust and grime and pony express rides) to our ears, were meant to be taken seriously, not doubted, not watered down not twisted or denied. What if we, as living creatures on the planet have more creative power than we realize and are actually meant to trust our desires and believe that we are worthy of having those desires met. What if we are meant to partake in the miraculous abundance that life has to offer and enjoy our own particular and valid way of being in the world. What if our unique interests and passions, when met and validated by our belief in our "worthiness", were to become an essential part of the process of forward movement for the entire universe towards those things which we collectively seem to desire: peace, wellness, respect, connection and riches for all. And what if we could each fulfill our dreams without needing to measure them up against the dreams of others.

I, for one, am newer than new when it comes to self valuing but I have noticed one thing. The days, or should I say moments, when I choose to believe that "Ask and it shall be given" was meant as a truthful, gracious offering from the universe and its loving entities, are the moments I feel hopeful, worthy, loved and loving. On the other hand, the moments I doubt the truth of those words, I feel hopeless, selfish, lost and am left with not much to offer. The concept that we are all here to experience the joy of being our unique selves in order to better all life, is becoming easier and easier for me to grasp. Even if it is not true that I found my way into this particular body and being to recognize my preferences and experience the fullness of joy through pursuit of the same, and even if it is folly to imagine that the fulfillment of my desires may some somehow have a positive effect on something so grand as the expansion of the universe itself, I live better when I believe these things to be true.